Also, sometimes I justify my alcoholism in bizarre manners.

Sometimes when I'm hungover, I'm too stupid to be mean. Sometimes when I'm hungover, brunch is like medicine. Sometimes when I'm hungover, every little thing and every little person that I encounter is kinda wonderful. Like the whole world is winking at me.

I had a hole in my belly today. Try as I might, I couldn't seem to fill it. I asked my body what it needed (a hippy principle my mom taught me--the answer is usually water, fyi). My body said "That man."

So I had chocolate instead. I had:
*Two cadbury eggs (1 regular, one orange creme)
*One Milky Way
*One heart shaped Reese's pb cup

Barf. I'm such a Cathy cartoon.

PS I predict I will wake up with sticky hands again. That's one of the casualties of loving Twix bars as hard as I do.

No ceilings motherfucker good mornin.

Cards I do not (often) pull:
*The race card
*The woman card

Cards I will pull when accosted by homeless men, my bosses, the teachers at my kid's school:
*The single mother card.

A real-life conversation:
"My car broke down. Can you spare a couple dollars so I can get some gas?"
"Sorry man."
"Really? You don't have any change?"
"Fuck, dude. I'm a single mom. I just bought Burger King with a credit card. Leave me be, please."

Dirt don't hurt

Things:
*This is not my fav DP song. Not by a long shot.
*This post is mostly for my Schnarfy. (Did you see their hoods???)
*I like awkward white girl Supremes-like choreography.
*I like trees.